How reaching out can help us get through uncertain time

It’s been a bumpy old couple of years, that’s for sure.

From droughts to bushfires to flash flooding to COVID to a little bit more flash flooding, a bit more COVID, lockdowns for dayyyyyyz – it’s been a rollercoaster, right? Which has put a whole lot of pressure on our mental and emotional health (among other things!).

We were chatting to Meeghan Bourne, Principal Therapist at Holus Health Counselling in Bowral, recently about managing life in a global pandemic and found her to be super-helpful, so wanted to share more of what Meeghan does and how she does it, with you.

Here’s our chat about how Meeghan’s career moved from managing physical health to mental health, and how she helps individuals, couples and families respond to trauma, anxiety and well, the stresses of life, really!

Because life can be hard!

Oh, and she has a therapy dog called Claudia – and we’re in love……

1 // How did you become Principal Therapist at Holus Health Counselling?

I worked in the area of physical therapy, remedial massage and corrective exercise for many years in Sydney, focusing a lot on pain management.

I realised that many patients’ physical pain had strong connections to their thoughts and behaviours, and the cognitive side of things.

The work I was doing with people’s bodies and managing their pain led me to wanting to know more about how fine tuning their thoughts could positively impact physical pain and rehabilitation.  

So, I went back to uni in 2012 to do a Bachelor of Counselling at the Australian College of Applied Psychology.

Because of my husband’s work, we moved to the Highlands from Beechworth in 2011 – we owned a vineyard in country Victoria for some years.

Being so close to Sydney and it’s major attractions, but without all the frantic pace of the city is great.

We love the people and the relaxed Highlands lifestyle.

Once I finished my degree in 2016, I opened up a private practice in Bowral, and did some work in a private hospital in Sydney working with patients who had mood and anxiety disorders, which has become an area of interest for me, as well as relationship and family counselling.

Mood and anxiety disorders affect people of all ages from so many backgrounds and is impacting so many people in our community.

2 // You specialise in relationship and family counselling. Tell us more about that.

I was lucky enough to do an internship with Jacqueline McDiarmid at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists.

She was one of my lecturers at uni and invited me to do a mentoring program with her.

It really opened my eyes to the different approaches that can be used in family therapy – it’s quite a specialised area of psychology and counselling.

I learnt so much and have brought that into my own private practice.
 

3 // What are you finding are the biggest challenges for families at the moment?

Stress levels and anxiety are through the roof.

Parents are unsure of their financial future, their children’s education and future, or whether they will have a business or a job for much longer.

There is a lot of fear and uncertainty being felt by so many people.

Expectations people have for their children also create challenges in family relationships and I see that regularly.

Many parents haven’t had any counselling to deal with painful or traumatic aspects of their own life, so as the primary caregiver, they might not realise they have the wrong blueprint in how they parent which then becomes a family situation.

I also see families who have a high level of dysfunctionality, so have no expectations for their children at all, which can also cause pain and trauma.

4 // So how do you work with families to move through that and heal?

We address the systemic problems the family (or a couple) faces in a safe environment with no judgement.

Each individual is given the time and space to air their thoughts and emotions – parents and children, regardless of age – everyone in that room has a voice.

Family counselling is very structured.

I use the Milan Approach – the best way to describe it is to say it’s like taking the layers off an onion.

This approach allows for the various levels of concern to be brought out in the open in front of family members in a safe environment.

We peel back the issues that are systemic in the family and rebuild from there.

5 // And Claudia the labradoodle helps you too!

Yes, Claudia is a big goofball, but she has amazing doggie instincts.

She sits with me in all my therapy sessions and if she feels someone needs comforting, she’ll move over to them and sit on their feet until they calm down or rest her head on their lap.

She’s especially intuitive and good with young children and is a huge comfort to them if they are feeling emotional in a therapy session.

She’s fantastic at reading the energy in the room.

If I am counselling a couple and the tone or energy in the room becomes a bit more intense, Claudia will sit with the person becoming agitated which helps to calm them down.

She comes to work every day with me and certainly earns her keep (and lots of pigs ears!).

6 // You practice in psychotherapy and counselling. What’s the difference?

Psychotherapy is long-term counselling where a patient connects with their therapists over a long period of time.

Quite often you’re working with someone who has experienced significant trauma or something in the past, and while they have light bulb moments, they still continue to repeat unhealthy thinking patterns.

Therapy is required to help them through the impact that has on their lives.

Counselling is very much focused on the present zeroing in on a specific issue over 5 – 12 sessions.

A patient may be dealing with an inability to regulate their emotions, or they may need help being more assertive in their communications with their partner for example.

The issue is identified quite early in the process.

You then provide the patient with a therapy approach – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, for example – to resolve the concern and give them the skillset to manage that behaviour moving forward.

7 // What would your advice be to someone suffering at the moment, whether it be because of global uncertainty, a challenging family problem, relationship issue or someone struggling with their mental health?

Please reach out. Help is there.

There are really good people trained to listen and help you, and I’m not just talking about me.

There are so many fantastic people who can help you finetune your thoughts, behaviours and actions.

You know, we send our cars off for an overhaul or a service.

We need to do the same with our mental health.

Check in with someone and shed the load you are carrying, your fear and anxiety, or whatever it may be that is causing you pain.

When we don’t know how to emotionally regulate ourselves, emotions such as sadness can become anger, or fear can become immobilising and we can’t function.

These emotional regulation skills are so important in keeping us moving and functioning in such unprecedented times of uncertainty.

Holus Health Counselling Bowral provides professional and discreet mental health and counselling services, and individual, relationship and family counselling and psychotherapy.

There’s never any shame in reaching out. If you need help, get in touch with Meeghan.

***

This blog features friends and advertisers of The Fold Southern Highlands and is fully endorsed by The Fold Southern Highlands. We strongly believe in the businesses and all the information we share with you on The Fold and we’re excited to share the amazing stories and adventures of our local businesses. We want to say a BIG thank you to you for supporting our sponsors who help make The Fold possible.